Self-regulation is one of the most pivotal developmental skills youth can learn. If we can start thinking about what’s going on in our lives and how that impacts our feelings and reactions, then we can make some decisions about how we want to move around in the world.
Whatever your feeling is, there is a need. If you take a moment to step away, you can implement a coping mechanism. Otherwise the bad feelings accumulate and you start feeling bad about self and then you get angry. Instead, when you have a coping mechanism, you can be proactive and decide how to respond to certain situations with a parent or other person with whom you may have an emotional reaction.
Temper Expressing Your Virtues With Consideration
Knowing, living and expressing your virtues are three distinct actions. You may struggle to express your virtues and sometimes that is appropriate. Your virtues are there as reminders of who you are and choose to be. When thinking about expressing them, always remember to make choices that keep you physically and emotionally safe. Yes, you want to be authentic and true in your communication, but you must temper it with consideration. Consider emotional health, climate of the house/job/circumstance, and if it doesn’t feel safe to communicate, WAIT until you do feel safe. There’s nothing wrong with that. Truth without consideration can totally backfire on you.
Our guest blogger Naomi, is developing coping skills and recently shared with me (and I have her permission to share with you) this:
“When I’m feeling discouraged or down I have this saying that keeps me going. ‘It’s not gonna be like this forever… things are gonna change.’ It reminds me that my circumstances and these situations do not define me and that I have the power to change my mindset for the better to make my situation and circumstances better. I may only be able to talk to my sister and my boyfriend at the moment and at least I know somebody hears me and understands that I am trying to make progress.”
Personal Growth Is A Journey To Joy
Getting support is an important coping skill. Keep in mind this is your life. Remind yourself that this personal journey of discovery is exciting, and a necessary step to finding joy in life. This is not just something you need to get through. This time in your life is shaping who you will become and let it be exciting. When you and your mom don’t see eye to eye… start smiling to yourself. Why? Because you have already shown the courage to take charge of yourself. How very marvelous!